Let’s talk about relationships today
Hello friends. Let's get personal.
I'm in the throws of a budding relationship (squeeeee, omg, yes he's cute). It's been over 8 months since my last relationship ended. I won't go into any details about that except that we were much better as friends and I wasn't having my needs met. Before that it had been ages, years since my last relationship. This may be a surprise to you but I haven't been the relationship kind of person. During my twenties I was basically single. I dated here and there, but no one stuck. No one was quite what I wanted on paper; funny, good looking, caring, compassionate, affectionate, has a good job, loves his mother, doesn't want kids, loves to travel, works out and takes good care of himself. Of course chemistry is important too. But what I wanted most was to date my best friend. Someone that made me laugh till I cry, that shared similar passions or at least supported and lifted me up in mine. Someone I could share all my secrets with, that I could be totally myself around and I knew they wouldn't judge me.
I was wiling to wait until that person came along. Not so patiently though. I had waves of trying really hard to find Mr. Right with internet dating and waves of not trying at all with self-imposed celibacy. Over the last 3-5 years I've had friends get engaged, get married, have children, and have more children (and get divorced sadly). Once I hit thirty it seemed like everyone around me was shacking up and it never seems to stop. It's interesting to me the overwhelming desire to domesticate and procreate found in these modern times. I have never wanted a traditional household, I have no desire to birth a child from my body. But what I do want is a long-term relationship with someone that rocks my world and meets my needs.
People always say that relationships are work, that they are full of compromise. I don't believe they should be (maybe that's why I've been single most my adult life?). Am I naive to think that two people can join together, form a union of love and peace, without compromise or hard work? Do YOU have to work really hard in your relationship?
One of the main reasons for this post is almost all the successful, happy women that I know have a loving partnership. They always say that behind every good man there's a great woman. But I find the opposite to be true as well. Case in point is Christina Pirello. She is one of my mentors. If you are ever around her you will find this adorable glowing face right behind her that is her husband Robert. They have a beautiful story together; she was ill, he took care of her, then helped her build her brand. They are an unstoppable team and all these years later when you see them they are holding hands and all giggly like they just met.
Many women that inspire me are in loving relationships. Often their husbands are into totally different things and do not get involved in their business but there's nothing else like a loving partnership to help you feel supported. Marie Forleo's Q&A Tuesday video also sparked this post. A woman wrote in that she was not getting any support from her partner and he seemed to be on another planet when it came to future hopes and aspirations. Don't stay in a relationship when you are not on the same page about things, right?!
So I want to hear from you! When you met the love of your life did you instantly know he/she was the one? Or how soon did those feelings come? I feel like it's too early to tell anything with my new guy, but he definitely looks good on paper. He makes me feel great, is very loving and affectionate, motivates and pushes me to be better. And on side note: he's decided on his own to go plant-based and track his fitness progress (he's a bodybuilder and runner). It seems like we'll be a great team and support each other to reach our goals. Time will tell. 🙂